Week 4 Story

Rama heard the shuffling of monkeys and people in their tents trying to sleep before the great battle against Ravana's army the next day. He felt the anger and violence threatening to choke him and decided to go for a walk. War was inevitable. This was the thought Rama repeated to himself to soothe his worry and guilt over the ensuing violence.

Moonlight peeked through the leaves of the trees and lit up the path Rama was treading. 

I am Rama. I am a warrior and am in control of my destiny. I will retrieve Sita. I will prevail, Rama thought to himself. 

But his thoughts were stopped short by the sound of fluttering leaves. He looked up and saw a large eagle fly from the tree right in front of him. Frightened, Rama was about to run away when the eagle turned around in the sky and started flying towards Rama. Rooted on the spot, Rama couldn't find it in himself to run. He just stared and surrendered to his death. 

Swoosh, the eagle landed on Rama's shoulder. With his new companion, Rama felt safe once again. This eagle, he somehow knew, would protect and aid him in battle. 

With this comforting thought, Rama and eagle returned to the camp to sleep.

The next morning, Rama, the eagle, and the rest of the army approached Ravana's army. In a great surge, the fighting commenced. Under the frightened feet of soldiers, flowers and blooms were crushed. Ravana's army was no match for Rama's determined followers. They had belief in Rama, which spurred them on. 

Through the thinning crowd, Ravana caught sight of Rama and charged towards him. Seeing Ravana, Rama felt his blood boil with rage and charged as well. 

At the same instant, both Ravana and Rama set forth their last, strongest weapons and released their beasts. Rama set for a flurry of eagles to destroy Ravana, and Ravana released a river of venomous serpents in Rama's direction. Both Ravana and Rama felt sure in their ability to defeat each other. They had defeated the elements; they had broken nature; they had control over the beings of earth. What greater power was there? 

Just as these thoughts were passing through their minds, Rama felt the bite of one of Ravana's serpents and Ravana received a deathly strike from one of Rama's eagles. Both warriors did not think of war when they died but of Sita. They thought of the time they would not now spend with her. 

Meanwhile, a holy woman from the forest had been silently watching the exchange at the edge of the forest. The noise of the battle had jarred her from her meditation. In her sorrow over the violence of the foes, she melted to the ground and began to cry, not just for Rama but also for Ravana, for the pain each had to endure. Her attempt to give Rama an eagle's courage to surrender had failed. After some time, she stopped crying and lay still on the forest floor watching the leaves blow in the wind. She did not even move when a large eagle settled beside her and gently protected her head with its wing. Nor did she move when a large serpent slithered up to her and coiled around her leg, never once biting her. This holy woman's name was Mother Earth.  

Author's note: This story is based on the battle scene in The Ramayana by Narayan when Rama and Ravana fight using serpents and eagles. In case you haven't read any of it, they are in battle because Ravana stole Sita, Rama's wife. Rama is trying to get Sita back through the battle. I changed it to emphasize the animals being used as weapons and what I think would actually happen in that situation. 
Mother Nature Oil Paint by Stephanie Koenig on Wikipedia Commons

Comments

  1. Jessica,
    I loved your story! I really liked all of the descriptions you used, such as the sound effects, that were really effective in engaging readers in the story. I liked how you were able to shift the focus on the animals as weapons, and I felt that you were still able to keep the whole fight seen flowing without overcasting the main idea.

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  2. Hey Jessica,

    I had a great time reading your story. I like the turn of events using the eagle as a symbol of strength and assurance. I was able to catch on from your author's note, that you used the animals as a source of attack, which in the end came in handy. Mother Earth was an unsuspecting entrance to the story, i like it!

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  3. Hey Jessica! Dang girl, I know you’re majoring in environmental engineering, but you could definitely be a writer! You’re a really good storyteller – the details of the descriptions in the story were probably my favorite aspect of the story. I feel like the level of detail you have in this story makes it seem much more real. I’m excited to read the rest of your stories!

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  4. Jessica,
    I thought this was a fantastically written story! It was well thought out and its characters really meshed well. The part when Rama was walking through the forest and the eagle came out of no where made me very intrigued on what was about to happen. I didn’t think Rama would be attacked but I caught myself holding my breath on what was bound to happen! I understood that the eagle had to accompany Rama on throughout the story, but I couldn’t figure out what had actually happened between the two of them. I kind of just went from the Eagle swooping down to him, and then sitting on the shoulder, was there any conversation between the two? What if When the Eagle swooped down to Rama’s shoulder he said, “Don’t be alarmed, I am only here to give you strength in your upcoming battle”, or something along the lines of that? I still think this is a very well written story though, and am looking forward to your future stories!

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  5. Hey Jessica, your story was so interesting to read. I love reading and I am always a skeptic but I was really into your story! I am not much of a writer so this class is a little tough for me on that part but you definitely seem like you are a writer. Your plot and descriptions were great throughout!

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  6. Hi Jessica, You are so good at writing, it was so fun to read your story. You are great at details because it really made it easy for me to imagine the story and get really into it. You could have been a writer too if you enjoy writing. Looking forward to reading your stories.

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  7. Hi, Jessica! This is the second story of yours that I have read today and I love that you somehow also connect it back to the earth/Mother Earth. I liked the concept of this story and it was kind of a surprise ending when Mother Earth was revealed at the end. And I love surprise endings!!

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