Wow, Jessica, I really enjoyed looking at your storybook project “No birth No death.” I greatly enjoyed reading your introduction titled “one.” This was an absolutely captivating read. The creativity was on full display in this introduction. It was fascinating how you delved deeply into the inner workings of life and death from the point of view of the earth. While reading this, it caused me to slow down and think about our intrinsic relationship with the earth. I am assuming this was your goal, and you exceeded expectations. One thing I noticed was in your description of water being like compassion. I think it would be interesting and add to your compassion analysis to discuss how water is very powerful, but it also provides our bodies with nourishment and resources to perform biological functions. I am very excited to read how your future stories will connect with one another and eventually tie back with your introduction. Great job!
I loved it! One of the deepest storybooks I've read so far! I like the way you characterize Mother Earth. It sounds very realistic and idealistic at the same time. The Motherly archetype is very evident in how she wants to comfort us, her children. At the same, you can obviously tell that she has more love, wisdom, and peace than a human mother. I also liked how you referred to the dualities of nature and how they're no reason for the disruption of peace. I completely agree with that sentiment. I don't really have any critiques, as I liked how spiritual and philosophical this was. Great job!
Jessica, I really love the idea behind your storybook. The title immediately caught my attention: No Birth No Death. I read your introduction, titled Mission/One. I like how you called it "Mission," as if introducing the goal of the narrator to the readers. I was a little confused as to why the introduction was called "One" and it might be helpful if you explain that a little bit more.
I think it would also be more fluid if you were to introduce Mother Earth as the narrator early on in the introduction, so that it is quickly making sense for a reader. Most people, if a question is unanswered like who the narrator is for more than a few sentences in, will abandon what they are reading and it is so interesting I don't want people to do that!
A quick grammer-ish thing: You use the word "incarnate" in the last paragraph (second sentence), but that is an adjective so when I read it out loud it sounds a little funky. You can use something like "I will be incarnated" or something, but it should really be in verb form.
Your characterization of the narrator is going very well and I feel like I understand her stance on "death/birth". It would be amazing if you could expand on this, even using facts and scientific evidence because that will help sway the reader into her point-of-view and make them feel more involved because they know the same information now. I really enjoy how you have characterized Mother Earth and I can even imagine the sound of her voice as a soft and wise old grandmother because the language is consistent in style and vocabulary.
Hi Jessica! I'm excited to see where you take this story. The introduction was very dramatic and I think that will make more people want to read it. I like the idea of what you're writing. It's such an interesting premise. At first I thought it was a god talking and it surprised me that it was Mother Earth at the end. How'd you come up with this idea? "Birth is the result of death." That sentence really made me think and I think it's important that authors evoke thought from their readers, so good job! When Mother Earth is reincarnated into different forms, will she be just as formal as she was in the introduction? You can tell someone of power is talking in the intro and I wonder if she is reincarnated as someone "normal" will she keep the same tone of voice? Or will it be more informal?
Hello Jessica! I just have to say that I really enjoyed your story No Birth No Death. Out of all the previous stories that I have read, I have not seen one with like this. I enjoyed the poetic approach that you had with the story. It really grabbed my attention. There was a quote in your story which I loved, "Death gives birth to transformation and broken hearts mend in the tenderness of the present moment." This really got me thinking about some of the losses in my life, and I have to say its true. Overall, I believe you wrote a great story! Personally, I wouldn't change a thing. Therefore, Have a great OU/Texas weekend! If you are driving, be safe! I hope you have a great semester and keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of the great stories you produce.
I read "One" and was fascinated by your creativity. Your introduction drew me in and had me wondering what was next. Your story was well-written and kept me on my feet. This is such a logical introduction that just has me saying, "wow!". I really liked the part when you said "I am as much their child as they are mine." You discussed the fact that they mold and teach you everyday which I completely agree with. I see potential with this storybook and it's heights it'll take.
I just looked at your story book, and I really like it. Your title for the site definitely caught my eye. Your introduction is so good. Your metaphors for anger and and compassion are perfect. I would never have thought of it. The voice of mother earth comes through strong when she pleas for loving and kindness. I like the way you present mother earth, asking her children understand that life and death go together. The final paragraph does a good job explaining what the rest of the stories will be about. It is a strong finish to a well written introduction. Your poem Loss was good as well. You did a great job portraying the feelings Ruru had for his daughter. I was a little confused between the use of Priyumvida and Mother. Are they the same person? Or was it Mother Earth who jumped? Because later in the poem you really feel Priyumvida's pain. I do not think that she was the one who pushed Earth. Overall, I found the poem thought provoking, and look forward to reading your next installment.
Hey there Jessica! WOW, your story book is so you! I can really tell through your writing that you have a true passion for your topic, and the way that you were able to mold the story of "Love and Death" from The Code of Hammurabi was truly remarkable. Your site is overall very pleasing to the eye and fits in very well with your topic. I loved reading through your intro page, One, and i think you did a great job in using a sort of mystical feel in the way that you presented it. I really liked how you were able to write it in the point of view of Mother Earth herself and I feel that it gave it a more individualized or personal feel. I also think that you chose some great pictures for your Death page, and I would suggest trying to see if there is a sort of "sketch" like picture of the Earth that you could use in the Mission page in order to tie in the whole vibe of your pages into one group of chill. Overall, wonderful job!
Hi Jessica! First I would like to say that I was thrilled when I first opened your storybook. Overall, it was well organized. As I read your first story I was eager to find out who it was and you did a good job of building up all the way until the end where you mentioned Mother Earth. "Death" was easy to follow along. I am looking forward to other pieces to your story book! It was so cool that you used the point of view that you did, it fit well! Do you plan on developing your stories chronologically? I really liked that the first one tied well with your intro so I am curious as to what you will be incorporating in your future stories. It would be kind of cool to have the different emotions when humans do certain things to the earth or even if you did something in relation to geographical changes and what they mean.
Your second story reminds me so much of Milk and Honey! Your illustrations also remind me of Rupi's illustrations. Have you read any of her stuff? Also, do you write a lot of poetry? I can't imagine that you don't. Your writings too good! I've always wanted to be someone that would write really good poetry because I think when it's done correctly, it can be so beautiful and moving. And you truly captured me with your writing! Your use of imagery was perfect. There were a few times while reading that I was a little lost. I'm not at the best at reading in between the lines of poems, plus, I have a hard to slow down when I'm reading. I probably would have understood it better if I slowed down and absorbed the words you were saying. I feel like that's how poetry should be read anyway. As always, I enjoyed reading your story and I'm excited to come back next week and read another!
Hey Jessica! First off, I really enjoyed your story book “No Birth No Death”. The homepage was simple but yet so complex at the same time which is what I believe you were going for. The story book is very easy to navigate, and the stories were so captivating to read. It was really mind boggling on how deeply you dove into the inner workings of life and death, and how it is seen from the perspective of earth. One of the sections that was stuck out to me was your comparison of compassion to water. Because compassion is strong just like water is. But I wonder what if you added a break down of water and how it is strong like compassion. In my opinion water is strong in multiple ways through force like rushing rivers, but it also provides our bodies with the nourishment that we need. I look forward to reading your future stories and see the progress of this storybook! Best of luck!
I have to say when I saw your website it looked very clean and it is easy on the eyes which is what I like. I like the images that you used along with the concept of mother earth which you have chosen to write about is really great. It is very different and like Jasmin said able, your illustrations remind me of Rupi Kaur. She is so amazing. You should definitely check her out if you don’t know who she is. I think you would enjoy her work. As I was reading your storybook it was just great. I can tell that you like your topic a lot through the way you right. The way you tell your story is also different and I just want to read more and more. You have really nice topics going in your page. I really look forward to reading more of your stories. Keep up the good work!
Hello Jessica you did an amazing job with the way you setup your story book. The mission statement had me eager to read the rest o your stories and I am glad I did. The only thing that I would mention about changing is, maybe try to easy the audience into the "Death" story. W hen I began to read it I felt like I was thrown into the story like maybe there was a part to the story before the beginning. The first question that popped in my head was, " Why was she searching for those who were primed to learn?" Did something happen in the past? " However, I do love the way that you wrote the story it is very unique. I have not ran into another story written like that yet. I look forward to reading your last couple of stories! Keep it up.
Hey Jessica! I just wanted to first say that I was really intrigued by your mission statement. The way that you wrote the mission in first person was super creative and I'm sure took some time to do so, to basically make yourself think like Mother Earth. I also really liked the fact that you did not give away who you were at first but instead gave hints, I was able to gather that you were Mother Earth but not until I read further. The words and your writing style that you used for both Mission and Death are really flowy and pretty, very poetic. The story Death was very deep and thoughtful, it really made me take a step back and think. It really is quite amazing how life, death, the sun, the earth, the moon, and the stars are all so interconnected. Death is a sad thing but it is a necessary thing and I think you did a great job conveying that message in your writings.
Hi Jessica! Your poem for the chapter, Death, was absolutely brilliant. I haven't seen any other poems this semester (I did poetry for the Myth and Folklore project last semester) and I am so glad to see that someone is putting such gorgeous prose to good use! It is very well-articulated and the rhythm of the poem is consistent. The way you took the original story and turned it into what you needed for your own story prompt was really genius! Here are some of my favorite lines: A broken smile cracked Ruru's face each time >>> I love that imagery so much. It is a fantastic characterization of Ruru and really lets the reader capture him in their mind. She brought lillies to her father's lips and softened her mother's eyes >>> Not only is this such a gorgeous line, with a great fluid motion as the line continues, it is a great characterization of the softness of Sun, of how she contributes to her parents' lesson on the cycle of life and death. Sun makes it easier for Ruru to enjoy and celebrate life, while "softening" the hard (cynical?) look that Priyumvada made have had on life before giving birth to Sun. One thing that made me really curious was the use of "Lillies" and I was wondering if they had a specific connotation of healing or something else and if that was why you chose these flowers? Or do you just like lillies? I think that would be an awesome thing to include in the author's note so the reader is getting all the slight connotations that you are tossing into the poem!
I am realizing that I am writing way too much, although I could go on for PAGES about how much I loved this poem. I will end with noting the one line that could be me reading too much into things: "BUT AM I FREE?" >>> I was unsure, suddenly, about who was speaking this line. Is it Earth? Is it Sun? Is it one of Sun's parents? I took it as Sun/Earth, which really threw in this wild loop of Earth herself questioning the tossing away of attachments for understanding of continuity. I read that line as a small hint of sudden and unwanted dissatisfaction about her own philosophy. It made her character all the more intriguing!
Hi Jessica! For starters, I love your cover photo on the main page! It suits your theme so perfectly! “Mission” is a fun twist on “Introduction”, and does an excellent job of introducing the narrator to the audience/giving Mother Earth an all-knowing, omnipresent feel. The contrasts you provide are striking: anger and compassion, life and death. Death: The illustrations pair perfectly, and are refreshingly different from any other’s I’ve seen. “So Mother Earth threw Sun’s body from a cliff” This was so SUDDEN and effective holy heck. “Sun’s rays continued to shine from every person she had touched” this is so touching and true. Your poetry is beautiful and striking. Birth: again, I love your style so much, and was delighted when Sita’s origins were incorporated. Having King Janaka give himself some love via his inner child at the end was likewise touching, and the Author’s Note did a great job of telling the story from which you drew your inspiration. Your work is incredible! Thanks for sharing!
Hey Jessica! Took a look over your project website! I liked the overall feel and vibe. I also liked your website title – no birth no death. It’s very intriguing and attention grabbing; well, at least, I was intrigued and wanted to know more about what your website was about. Your introduction was great at introducing the website and was very well-written. Your topic in general is very interesting, and you did the topic justice with your intro. I also was very impressed by the stories you posted. It’s very difficult to write poems – at least for me, I think that it’s much harder to write poems then write stories. The poems were beautifully written and again, the topics you chose were very interesting, and I loved reading through both poems. Can’t wait to see what your next stories or poems look like and to read them later in the semester!
Hi Jessica. I read your “Mission” story. It was a truly creative and unique story! I like how you described the sacred thing: I have tried to teach each and every one of them how to do the most sacred thing one can do: be still. I think that’s an important yet such difficult task to do. It would be difficult for anyone because we all live in a busy society where we constantly have to be moving. I also like “I”’s truly humble humility: Teaching by example, I never interfere in the lives of my children. How can I? I am as much their child as they are mine. This is not the kind of attitude that most teachers have these days. They treat kids like they are “kids”, often condescending and contemptuously. I really like “I”’s thoughtful reflections of the natural phenomena and human emotions. This thinking is really amazing: “We do not need to fear dying because we already are dying.” Thank you for a great story!
Hi Jessica! I just want to start off by saying I love the whole vibe of your website. The theme of your website and banner image you've used are very aesthetic. I think your writing style is awesome! I really enjoyed reading your "Mission" page, and I love that it was in the POV of Mother Earth herself. I think you wrote that fantastically. It wasn't until the very end that I realized it was also an introduction, so hats off to you. That was very creative writing. I love that all of you go so deep into the environment and earth in all of your stories. I also like how the themes of each story are like a cycle. From death to birth and to transformation. Your writing reminds me a lot of the poet Rupi Kaur. I'm a speedy reader so your stories were the first to make me slow down and reread a few times just to digest the words. I think you're doing an excellent job your storybook! Keep up the good work!
Hey Jessica! I really enjoyed looking over your storybook project! It was different from the other ones I have seen. I thought it creative of you to write your introduction in the point of view of mother earth. I also liked how you used "mission" instead of introduction as the name. Also, I really like how you wrote the stories, too. I thought the poem style you chose to write the stories was clever and it made the stories more interesting to read. I thought that your stories were beautifully written and I found it so cool that you created the images for your stories. I think I enjoyed reading "Death" the most. It was well written and you had my attention throughout the story. It was nice to learn and read about the cycles. Overall, I thought you did a great job on your project! I hope the rest of your semester goes well!
It's my second time around and your storybook is looking even better! I can tell you really put your efforts into this story and made time to be as creative as you could be! The imagery you used were all great and such aesthetics to your storybook. Your writing style is extremely professional and seems a bit more advanced than the most of us. Your dialogue is well-written all around and very enjoyable to read. Great job!
Hey Jessica, I really loved getting to read your storybook. You have made your project look incredible. The layout of the website and the pictures you have chosen look amazing. Your stories are so well written and I love what you have done with the originals. You are definitely very talented at writing. My favorite piece was "Death." I felt like it had the most well thought out details and was just overall really good. I hope I get a chance to read more of your work and I hope your semester ends well!
Hi Jessica! I love your "Death” part of No Birth No Death Storybook! I think it’s truly creative and amazing. I especially like the unique format of your story that has stanzas like a poem. I like the beginning of your death story: “Mother Earth searched for those primed to learn.” It sounded like Mother Earth, which is an inanimate object, was searching through students who want to learn under her. This is such a deep stanza: “Ruru showed Mother Earth that he had not yet accepted the impermanence within life's continuity.” It’s very philosophical stanza that describes the very nature of life and rebirth. I like how the story narrates in a sequential manner: Mother Earth gave birth to her child, Sun. Sun was raised in a town and had big smile and kind nature. Sun grew into a human, and so on. Wow.. I love this song: “ "Death gives birth to transformation and broken hearts Mend in the tenderness of The present moment." Your story is absolutely amazing with so much depth and philosophy of life. Thank you for a marvelous story!
Hey Jessica! Your story book was so good! You have some serious writing talent! The introduction was everything it needed to be and it explained everything perfectly. The navigation was super easy and the way you titled the stories was perfect! You really did a great job of showing what life is like in the perspective of Earth. I really liked how each aspect of Earth was characterized and given a role in your story. Everything compliments each other. Earth needs all of the components to be there in order to support life and you did a great job of showing that. Your also did really well with the images you used! I like that you used poems as a way to present your story and you do it so well! This is the first story book I've come across and it is so well done! Good job with this story book and keep it up! Good luck on finals!
Visiting from the sister class, Myth-Folklore, and absolutely entranced with your choice of subject and treatment of this project. Everything, from your drawings, to the prose format, to the author's note, was fantastic. I'm equally impressed with how well each of your stories complemented the others; even though the story concepts came from a variety of different legends, all of them were beautifully woven together, emphasizing the balance and harmony of life. Transformation reminded me of an old story of several blind men struggling to identify the same animal by touching different parts, which I adored as a child. It's really amazing how most people view birth and death as completely separate parts of our lives, when one cannot be had without the other.
The Mission statement, given by Mother Earth, was one of the most uplifting things I've read in a long time. I need to set aside more still time in my life! Thank you for this inspiring collection, and again: amazing job!!!
Wow, Jessica, I really enjoyed looking at your storybook project “No birth No death.” I greatly enjoyed reading your introduction titled “one.” This was an absolutely captivating read. The creativity was on full display in this introduction. It was fascinating how you delved deeply into the inner workings of life and death from the point of view of the earth. While reading this, it caused me to slow down and think about our intrinsic relationship with the earth. I am assuming this was your goal, and you exceeded expectations. One thing I noticed was in your description of water being like compassion. I think it would be interesting and add to your compassion analysis to discuss how water is very powerful, but it also provides our bodies with nourishment and resources to perform biological functions. I am very excited to read how your future stories will connect with one another and eventually tie back with your introduction. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI loved it! One of the deepest storybooks I've read so far! I like the way you characterize Mother Earth. It sounds very realistic and idealistic at the same time. The Motherly archetype is very evident in how she wants to comfort us, her children. At the same, you can obviously tell that she has more love, wisdom, and peace than a human mother. I also liked how you referred to the dualities of nature and how they're no reason for the disruption of peace. I completely agree with that sentiment. I don't really have any critiques, as I liked how spiritual and philosophical this was. Great job!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I really love the idea behind your storybook. The title immediately caught my attention: No Birth No Death. I read your introduction, titled Mission/One. I like how you called it "Mission," as if introducing the goal of the narrator to the readers. I was a little confused as to why the introduction was called "One" and it might be helpful if you explain that a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteI think it would also be more fluid if you were to introduce Mother Earth as the narrator early on in the introduction, so that it is quickly making sense for a reader. Most people, if a question is unanswered like who the narrator is for more than a few sentences in, will abandon what they are reading and it is so interesting I don't want people to do that!
A quick grammer-ish thing: You use the word "incarnate" in the last paragraph (second sentence), but that is an adjective so when I read it out loud it sounds a little funky. You can use something like "I will be incarnated" or something, but it should really be in verb form.
Your characterization of the narrator is going very well and I feel like I understand her stance on "death/birth". It would be amazing if you could expand on this, even using facts and scientific evidence because that will help sway the reader into her point-of-view and make them feel more involved because they know the same information now. I really enjoy how you have characterized Mother Earth and I can even imagine the sound of her voice as a soft and wise old grandmother because the language is consistent in style and vocabulary.
Hi Jessica! I'm excited to see where you take this story. The introduction was very dramatic and I think that will make more people want to read it. I like the idea of what you're writing. It's such an interesting premise. At first I thought it was a god talking and it surprised me that it was Mother Earth at the end. How'd you come up with this idea? "Birth is the result of death." That sentence really made me think and I think it's important that authors evoke thought from their readers, so good job! When Mother Earth is reincarnated into different forms, will she be just as formal as she was in the introduction? You can tell someone of power is talking in the intro and I wonder if she is reincarnated as someone "normal" will she keep the same tone of voice? Or will it be more informal?
ReplyDeleteHello Jessica! I just have to say that I really enjoyed your story No Birth No Death. Out of all the previous stories that I have read, I have not seen one with like this. I enjoyed the poetic approach that you had with the story. It really grabbed my attention. There was a quote in your story which I loved, "Death gives birth to transformation and broken hearts mend in the tenderness of the present moment." This really got me thinking about some of the losses in my life, and I have to say its true. Overall, I believe you wrote a great story! Personally, I wouldn't change a thing. Therefore, Have a great OU/Texas weekend! If you are driving, be safe! I hope you have a great semester and keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of the great stories you produce.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI read "One" and was fascinated by your creativity. Your introduction drew me in and had me wondering what was next. Your story was well-written and kept me on my feet. This is such a logical introduction that just has me saying, "wow!". I really liked the part when you said "I am as much their child as they are mine." You discussed the fact that they mold and teach you everyday which I completely agree with. I see potential with this storybook and it's heights it'll take.
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI just looked at your story book, and I really like it. Your title for the site definitely caught my eye. Your introduction is so good. Your metaphors for anger and and compassion are perfect. I would never have thought of it. The voice of mother earth comes through strong when she pleas for loving and kindness. I like the way you present mother earth, asking her children understand that life and death go together. The final paragraph does a good job explaining what the rest of the stories will be about. It is a strong finish to a well written introduction. Your poem Loss was good as well. You did a great job portraying the feelings Ruru had for his daughter. I was a little confused between the use of Priyumvida and Mother. Are they the same person? Or was it Mother Earth who jumped? Because later in the poem you really feel Priyumvida's pain. I do not think that she was the one who pushed Earth. Overall, I found the poem thought provoking, and look forward to reading your next installment.
Hey there Jessica! WOW, your story book is so you! I can really tell through your writing that you have a true passion for your topic, and the way that you were able to mold the story of "Love and Death" from The Code of Hammurabi was truly remarkable. Your site is overall very pleasing to the eye and fits in very well with your topic. I loved reading through your intro page, One, and i think you did a great job in using a sort of mystical feel in the way that you presented it. I really liked how you were able to write it in the point of view of Mother Earth herself and I feel that it gave it a more individualized or personal feel. I also think that you chose some great pictures for your Death page, and I would suggest trying to see if there is a sort of "sketch" like picture of the Earth that you could use in the Mission page in order to tie in the whole vibe of your pages into one group of chill. Overall, wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! First I would like to say that I was thrilled when I first opened your storybook. Overall, it was well organized. As I read your first story I was eager to find out who it was and you did a good job of building up all the way until the end where you mentioned Mother Earth. "Death" was easy to follow along. I am looking forward to other pieces to your story book! It was so cool that you used the point of view that you did, it fit well! Do you plan on developing your stories chronologically? I really liked that the first one tied well with your intro so I am curious as to what you will be incorporating in your future stories. It would be kind of cool to have the different emotions when humans do certain things to the earth or even if you did something in relation to geographical changes and what they mean.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteYour second story reminds me so much of Milk and Honey! Your illustrations also remind me of Rupi's illustrations. Have you read any of her stuff? Also, do you write a lot of poetry? I can't imagine that you don't. Your writings too good! I've always wanted to be someone that would write really good poetry because I think when it's done correctly, it can be so beautiful and moving. And you truly captured me with your writing! Your use of imagery was perfect. There were a few times while reading that I was a little lost. I'm not at the best at reading in between the lines of poems, plus, I have a hard to slow down when I'm reading. I probably would have understood it better if I slowed down and absorbed the words you were saying. I feel like that's how poetry should be read anyway. As always, I enjoyed reading your story and I'm excited to come back next week and read another!
Hey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really enjoyed your story book “No Birth No Death”. The homepage was simple but yet so complex at the same time which is what I believe you were going for. The story book is very easy to navigate, and the stories were so captivating to read. It was really mind boggling on how deeply you dove into the inner workings of life and death, and how it is seen from the perspective of earth. One of the sections that was stuck out to me was your comparison of compassion to water. Because compassion is strong just like water is. But I wonder what if you added a break down of water and how it is strong like compassion. In my opinion water is strong in multiple ways through force like rushing rivers, but it also provides our bodies with the nourishment that we need. I look forward to reading your future stories and see the progress of this storybook! Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica,
I have to say when I saw your website it looked very clean and it is easy on the eyes which is what I like. I like the images that you used along with the concept of mother earth which you have chosen to write about is really great. It is very different and like Jasmin said able, your illustrations remind me of Rupi Kaur. She is so amazing. You should definitely check her out if you don’t know who she is. I think you would enjoy her work. As I was reading your storybook it was just great. I can tell that you like your topic a lot through the way you right. The way you tell your story is also different and I just want to read more and more. You have really nice topics going in your page. I really look forward to reading more of your stories. Keep up the good work!
Hello Jessica you did an amazing job with the way you setup your story book. The mission statement had me eager to read the rest o your stories and I am glad I did. The only thing that I would mention about changing is, maybe try to easy the audience into the "Death" story. W hen I began to read it I felt like I was thrown into the story like maybe there was a part to the story before the beginning. The first question that popped in my head was, " Why was she searching for those who were primed to learn?" Did something happen in the past? " However, I do love the way that you wrote the story it is very unique. I have not ran into another story written like that yet. I look forward to reading your last couple of stories! Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to first say that I was really intrigued by your mission statement. The way that you wrote the mission in first person was super creative and I'm sure took some time to do so, to basically make yourself think like Mother Earth. I also really liked the fact that you did not give away who you were at first but instead gave hints, I was able to gather that you were Mother Earth but not until I read further. The words and your writing style that you used for both Mission and Death are really flowy and pretty, very poetic. The story Death was very deep and thoughtful, it really made me take a step back and think. It really is quite amazing how life, death, the sun, the earth, the moon, and the stars are all so interconnected. Death is a sad thing but it is a necessary thing and I think you did a great job conveying that message in your writings.
Hi Jessica! Your poem for the chapter, Death, was absolutely brilliant. I haven't seen any other poems this semester (I did poetry for the Myth and Folklore project last semester) and I am so glad to see that someone is putting such gorgeous prose to good use! It is very well-articulated and the rhythm of the poem is consistent. The way you took the original story and turned it into what you needed for your own story prompt was really genius!
ReplyDeleteHere are some of my favorite lines:
A broken smile cracked Ruru's face each time >>> I love that imagery so much. It is a fantastic characterization of Ruru and really lets the reader capture him in their mind.
She brought lillies to her father's lips and softened her mother's eyes >>> Not only is this such a gorgeous line, with a great fluid motion as the line continues, it is a great characterization of the softness of Sun, of how she contributes to her parents' lesson on the cycle of life and death. Sun makes it easier for Ruru to enjoy and celebrate life, while "softening" the hard (cynical?) look that Priyumvada made have had on life before giving birth to Sun. One thing that made me really curious was the use of "Lillies" and I was wondering if they had a specific connotation of healing or something else and if that was why you chose these flowers? Or do you just like lillies? I think that would be an awesome thing to include in the author's note so the reader is getting all the slight connotations that you are tossing into the poem!
I am realizing that I am writing way too much, although I could go on for PAGES about how much I loved this poem. I will end with noting the one line that could be me reading too much into things: "BUT AM I FREE?" >>> I was unsure, suddenly, about who was speaking this line. Is it Earth? Is it Sun? Is it one of Sun's parents? I took it as Sun/Earth, which really threw in this wild loop of Earth herself questioning the tossing away of attachments for understanding of continuity. I read that line as a small hint of sudden and unwanted dissatisfaction about her own philosophy. It made her character all the more intriguing!
Hi Jessica! For starters, I love your cover photo on the main page! It suits your theme so perfectly! “Mission” is a fun twist on “Introduction”, and does an excellent job of introducing the narrator to the audience/giving Mother Earth an all-knowing, omnipresent feel. The contrasts you provide are striking: anger and compassion, life and death.
ReplyDeleteDeath: The illustrations pair perfectly, and are refreshingly different from any other’s I’ve seen. “So Mother Earth threw Sun’s body from a cliff” This was so SUDDEN and effective holy heck. “Sun’s rays continued to shine from every person she had touched” this is so touching and true. Your poetry is beautiful and striking.
Birth: again, I love your style so much, and was delighted when Sita’s origins were incorporated. Having King Janaka give himself some love via his inner child at the end was likewise touching, and the Author’s Note did a great job of telling the story from which you drew your inspiration. Your work is incredible! Thanks for sharing!
Hey Jessica! Took a look over your project website! I liked the overall feel and vibe. I also liked your website title – no birth no death. It’s very intriguing and attention grabbing; well, at least, I was intrigued and wanted to know more about what your website was about. Your introduction was great at introducing the website and was very well-written. Your topic in general is very interesting, and you did the topic justice with your intro. I also was very impressed by the stories you posted. It’s very difficult to write poems – at least for me, I think that it’s much harder to write poems then write stories. The poems were beautifully written and again, the topics you chose were very interesting, and I loved reading through both poems. Can’t wait to see what your next stories or poems look like and to read them later in the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. I read your “Mission” story. It was a truly creative and unique story! I like how you described the sacred thing: I have tried to teach each and every one of them how to do the most sacred thing one can do: be still. I think that’s an important yet such difficult task to do. It would be difficult for anyone because we all live in a busy society where we constantly have to be moving. I also like “I”’s truly humble humility: Teaching by example, I never interfere in the lives of my children. How can I? I am as much their child as they are mine. This is not the kind of attitude that most teachers have these days. They treat kids like they are “kids”, often condescending and contemptuously. I really like “I”’s thoughtful reflections of the natural phenomena and human emotions. This thinking is really amazing: “We do not need to fear dying because we already are dying.” Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! I just want to start off by saying I love the whole vibe of your website. The theme of your website and banner image you've used are very aesthetic. I think your writing style is awesome! I really enjoyed reading your "Mission" page, and I love that it was in the POV of Mother Earth herself. I think you wrote that fantastically. It wasn't until the very end that I realized it was also an introduction, so hats off to you. That was very creative writing. I love that all of you go so deep into the environment and earth in all of your stories. I also like how the themes of each story are like a cycle. From death to birth and to transformation. Your writing reminds me a lot of the poet Rupi Kaur. I'm a speedy reader so your stories were the first to make me slow down and reread a few times just to digest the words. I think you're doing an excellent job your storybook! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed looking over your storybook project! It was different from the other ones I have seen. I thought it creative of you to write your introduction in the point of view of mother earth. I also liked how you used "mission" instead of introduction as the name. Also, I really like how you wrote the stories, too. I thought the poem style you chose to write the stories was clever and it made the stories more interesting to read. I thought that your stories were beautifully written and I found it so cool that you created the images for your stories. I think I enjoyed reading "Death" the most. It was well written and you had my attention throughout the story. It was nice to learn and read about the cycles. Overall, I thought you did a great job on your project! I hope the rest of your semester goes well!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteIt's my second time around and your storybook is looking even better! I can tell you really put your efforts into this story and made time to be as creative as you could be! The imagery you used were all great and such aesthetics to your storybook. Your writing style is extremely professional and seems a bit more advanced than the most of us. Your dialogue is well-written all around and very enjoyable to read. Great job!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI really loved getting to read your storybook. You have made your project look incredible. The layout of the website and the pictures you have chosen look amazing. Your stories are so well written and I love what you have done with the originals. You are definitely very talented at writing. My favorite piece was "Death." I felt like it had the most well thought out details and was just overall really good. I hope I get a chance to read more of your work and I hope your semester ends well!
Hi Jessica! I love your "Death” part of No Birth No Death Storybook! I think it’s truly creative and amazing. I especially like the unique format of your story that has stanzas like a poem. I like the beginning of your death story: “Mother Earth searched for those primed to learn.” It sounded like Mother Earth, which is an inanimate object, was searching through students who want to learn under her. This is such a deep stanza: “Ruru showed Mother Earth that he had not yet accepted the impermanence within life's continuity.” It’s very philosophical stanza that describes the very nature of life and rebirth. I like how the story narrates in a sequential manner: Mother Earth gave birth to her child, Sun. Sun was raised in a town and had big smile and kind nature. Sun grew into a human, and so on. Wow.. I love this song: “
ReplyDelete"Death gives birth to transformation
and broken hearts
Mend in the tenderness of
The present moment." Your story is absolutely amazing with so much depth and philosophy of life. Thank you for a marvelous story!
Hey Jessica!
ReplyDeleteYour story book was so good! You have some serious writing talent! The introduction was everything it needed to be and it explained everything perfectly. The navigation was super easy and the way you titled the stories was perfect! You really did a great job of showing what life is like in the perspective of Earth. I really liked how each aspect of Earth was characterized and given a role in your story. Everything compliments each other. Earth needs all of the components to be there in order to support life and you did a great job of showing that. Your also did really well with the images you used! I like that you used poems as a way to present your story and you do it so well! This is the first story book I've come across and it is so well done! Good job with this story book and keep it up! Good luck on finals!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from the sister class, Myth-Folklore, and absolutely entranced with your choice of subject and treatment of this project. Everything, from your drawings, to the prose format, to the author's note, was fantastic. I'm equally impressed with how well each of your stories complemented the others; even though the story concepts came from a variety of different legends, all of them were beautifully woven together, emphasizing the balance and harmony of life. Transformation reminded me of an old story of several blind men struggling to identify the same animal by touching different parts, which I adored as a child. It's really amazing how most people view birth and death as completely separate parts of our lives, when one cannot be had without the other.
The Mission statement, given by Mother Earth, was one of the most uplifting things I've read in a long time. I need to set aside more still time in my life! Thank you for this inspiring collection, and again: amazing job!!!